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Warning: This piece of entertaining sh!t uses inappropriate language for people under 18 years old and people who think they are completely innocent. You have been warned!

What is a douche bag? You may want to do a few quick searches by yourself but simply saying: it’s a person which is mean, rude, fcuking annoying and X (replace X with whatever you find disgusting). Please notice the way I used “it” instead of “he” or “she” and “which” instead of “who”. It deserves that, really. That’s why it’s a douche bag!

People usually judge others by their appearances (stereotype?) but we all knows the only way to fully understand a person is to talk to him or her, watch his/her behaviors, etc (but it’s hard to spend a lot of time for everybody, I know). In almost-20 years of my life, I guess I haven’t met enough bad people personally so that when I first found the term “douche bag”, it was quite difficult for me to visualize it. You know, people remember things by visualizing them in their heads and when something matches the visualized image, along with the term itself, its details (memories, properties, etc) will pop out from every corner of the brain. (Un)Fortunately, I have just known a douche bag. It has all the “qualities” which were mentioned above in an unbelievable way. Ewwww… Sorry, the visualized image in my head is so gross that mentioning it makes me feel so bad and sick. Err, Ewwww…

Okie! So… what kind of a jerk is that? 

He (it’s a male) has a girlfriend. They are even listed as engaged in Facebook’s relationship status (which is, in fact, illegal at the age of 20). And then… what? He did flirt with other’s girlfriend! I think we have a love rectangle here which involves 4 people at once. This is so awesome! I myself experienced a love triangle (well, this is such an embarrassing thing to talk about) but this rectangle thing… It’s wayyyy much shittier than that. Suddenly I thought back about my old experience and felt it a piece of cake. I laughed so hard writing this, OMFG (read: Oh My Fcuking God)!

Sh!t hit the fan for the douche bag when it turned out that the girl doesn’t like him but for some complicated reasons, she still wants to be friend with him so she tried to keep things under control but that fcuker found it not enough (this is my guess only) so he kept pushing things and crossed the line (this is the truth). One of the most bullsh!t behaviors of the idiot is getting to know more about the girl by looking for and browsing her old stuffs (blog entries, photos, etc). Hmm, this is an easy-to-understand move as I did it all the time, FYI (read: For Your Information). He got lost of his mind when he left comments but he didn’t want anybody to be able to trace him down. To be honest, the only way to not let others know what you did is not doing it at all in the first place, especially in this age of global networks with broadband internet connections (and when your rival is potentially a nerd). He even made it more amusing by exposing the plan in one of his comments, what a fcuking genius! He also made heaps of crap by using “if” in some kind of a regret voice. I think he wished it had been a type I condition (possible in future) but too bad, it is a sentence in type III (unreal condition). Sorry, dude!

And then the guy (the girl’s boyfriend, the geek) smelt something in the air soon enough. That douche bag became highly suspicious in no time because of his traces (told ya!). All those things forced the guy to keep an eye on the fcuker all the time. But the guy still tried to make friendly contact with that douche bag with a belief that good people still exist in the world. It’s sad to say but among 6.6 billion people today, there are bad ones definitely. Unfortunately (and obviously) our douche bag here is one of the worst (it’s purely just my subjective point of view). The asshole responded with a competitive tone of voice just like he was declaring a war. Guess what? Wars are for idiots with their stupidities and it’s certain that both sides will get hurt. Hmm, in this situation I should have said 4 parties, shouldn’t I? That’s such a complete dumbass. The guy finally decided to do nothing further than that and simply fallback trusting his girlfriend (and write this piece of sh!t). Oh, that mother fcuker son of a bitch, go to hell!

Thank you for reading.

Nguồn: Internet